This post was written in December 2005. It was my rant on cheap yarn. Alas, the pictures have disappeared somewhere into the cyber dark hole of Word Press, but the verbiage is still here and I still give this post my stamp of approval.
The other day I was strolling down the "Muppet" isle at my local Hobby Lobby. You know the isle. It is the one with all the fuzzy, funky yarns. Yes, the ones that hide all the talent involved in the knitting of a garment or accessory. Anyway, as I strolled, marveling at all of the tacky, tasteless (my opinion only folks) yarns, I brushed my hand across the softest stuff I had felt in years. Upon looking, it was indeed "Muppet Yarn". The name "Featherwisp" made me believe it was the product of Big Bird down feathers. But, there were too many colors for it to be just The Bird! It didn’t matter, it was soft! I had to figure out what to do! Oh my goodness, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t buy dead Muppets!
But, I just couldn’t help myself. I stealthily plucked (no pun intended) 2 skeins of the featherwisp stuff from the shelf and slinked to the check-out counter. While at the checkout, the young lady and I discussed the merits of killing Muppets to get their wool. Guess what folks! They don’t kill them, they are shorn! Not only are they shorn, but they are shorn in a very humane and gentle manner. I mean, think about it. There is so much money in Muppet fiber that to skin them makes no sense at all financially. Shearing them on the other hand allows for the production of scads of hideously vibrant, fuzzy yarn that comes from a renewable source! Needless to say, I left the store without feeling guilty for the slaughter of defenseless Muppets. I had other reasons for feeling guilty…Yes, I bought 2, not 1, but 2 skeins of the stuff. I got it home, pulled it out of the bag and wondered why.
What does one make with Muppet yarn? What else do you do with the stuff but make a scarf. So I did…er am. In actuality, it isn’t that bad. It is rather colorful, but, when worn with the proper overcoat, could be rather fun. It is a simple dropped yo pattern, with a partial hood. It isn’t itchy at all - go Muppets!
Once it is complete I will try to find a sassy, young lady to model it. I will make sure it is someone 8 years old or under so the knitting police don’t come after me. (I love the Knitting Police)
I never did finish the above mentioned scarf. The Muppet Fur was just too much for me to handle. I still have a bit of the yarn that has gone into other tacky and tasteless projects, as in the tacky project on the left. There is still enough that I could make a matching set of lingerie.