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Friday, July 24, 2009

Weaning Time and Countdown

The countdown for my return home has begun. Next week at this time I will be on the final leg of my journey to Clinton, NY. I look forward to this with both joy and concern. I can't wait to be back in my beloved adopted home. I want to bundle my father up and take him with me.
He is doing so well. So well in fact that I am now allowing him to take care of me. Last night, he prepared dinner. This morning his is making banana waffles! Yummm...
His tendency toward over exertion is becoming apparent as he tries to do too much. That is when, like a mother hen, I shoo him to the safety of his easy chair and television. He knows better than to argue and is fairly well behaved as he grumbles and shuffles off to his forced relaxation.
This visit has also shown me - and here is where my concern comes in - that my siblings are very busy with their lives. Their jobs take them away from home for hours a day, the commute eats into their off time, their relationships pull their attention down another road. This is understandable. This is normal. But...I worry that the dad person will be left alone to sit and fall into the depression that surrounds him as a result.
He has told me that he doesn't cook when it is just him. He doesn't enjoy cooking for just himself. As with most men, he doesn't clean the house well and he doesn't want a housekeeper. He doesn't want to rent a room, or bring in a roomie to help him occupy this huge house either.
These things concern me.
On a high note, as a joke, he started a "Bucket List". He wants to see Niagara Falls. He wants to go to the Aztec and Mayan ruins in Mexico and Central America. His dream of an Alaskan cruise is in the process of being fulfilled. My wonderful sister in law is busily planning a cruise on the Inside Passage of Alaska for next spring. And the dad person is allowing me to book him a flight to New York for as soon as possible after his release from the Doctor's care! These are all great things.
But back to the titled subject...I have begun the weaning process from caring for my father to him caring for himself. I am leaving him at home alone for a few hours today and most of the day tomorrow.
Today, his newly hired grounds keeper will be here working in the back, so he won't be completely alone. He gets to stay and pet his dog, watch television, and try to use his Spanish to talk with Manuel, Lupita and son.
Me? I get to hop in the car with Karin, my sister in law, and head to Petaluma to visit Kniterly! Partake of their sale goods and fondle yarn.
Tomorrow Karin and I again hop in the care, but this time to head further south to San Francisco and a city wide yarn crawl with the lovely and vivacious Jewel! This is the little trip I have been looking forward to for the entire month. I came armed with a merino fleece for Jewel and cash for any yarn purchases I may make. Of course, yarn purchased will be used for Christmas presents. These are not purchases for me. Truly.
So the weaning process has begun and the countdown is looming over our heads. I am both happy and sad. We both need the weaning.


Becca said...

I am sure your dad is feeling the same way and I know this has been such an amazing time for both of you! I am glad he is going on the cruise, but even happier that he is coming out to NY to see you and your family! He will love your beautiful house and your new home!! It will be something for both of you to look forward to!

Sigrun said...

Looking forward to your return. Hereabouts we have a Meals on Wheels program where the number of meals you choose are delivered to the door. For my mom we choose lunch and supper. They were delivered in the late morning so that she could have a hot lunch, and had to be reheated for supper. It cost less than buying groceries that she'd let spoil for want of the desire to cook. And the meals are planned by dieticians. Also, for B'day and Christmas presents, I'd stock up her freezer with quality thaw and heat meals. Maybe you could help him develop a taste for Boost or Ensure-type drinks.

Lupie said...

So hard when we care for our parents but at the sametime a very loving and comforting time.
I often think of those times with great joy now that they are gone.

Emma of Flitwick said...

You have given your father a great gift by knowing he is loved. What a wonderful thing you have done by simply caring for him.
Enjoy the yarn shops and your time with dad.

Carrie K said...

The purchases I witnessed weren't for you but OTOH, that was only one yarn store!! Who knows what damage you & Jewel inflicted on the rest of the yarn stores after I headed home..... ;)

I'm so happy your Dad is doing better. Does he have a hobby/interest that he could hook up w/friends?

Brigitte said...

At some point, the tables have turned, and now you're the caretaker and worrier. It's wonderful you have all of these things planned for him, so he'll have them to look forward to! I'm glad you had a good trip, and that your dad is doing so much better!

LenaL said...

It really sounds like you have a lot to think about! I hope everything will turns out in the best of ways, and that you will be able to go home in confidence that everything is just fine and calm.